Rudolph Christmas Misfit Doll Mystery Solved!(?)

She started out as a “Dolly for Sue,” and ended up as one of the great mysteries of Christmas in the late 20th century. Her first appearance in 1964’s ‘Rudolph The Red-nosed Reindeer’ lasted only a few seconds as a tertiary character on the Island of Misfit Toys, ruled by good King Moonracer, a flying lion.

Some of the misfit characters included a polka-dotted elephant, a Charlie-in-a-box, a cowboy who rides an ostrich, a grape-jelly gun, a plane that doesn’t fly… you get the point.

‘Useless toys’ in the traditional sense, but definitely fitting the ‘misfit’ label.

In the 1965 (and all future airings), the Misfit Toys had a bigger role; in the original airing, the Island of Misfit Toys were simply forgotten. The network got questions, even complaints, as children wondered what happened to these poor, unwanted toys. With the additional time to complete their part of the story, the toys were given more “on-air” time.

That extra attention has made many people ask what made that little doll such a misfit. I am reasonably confident that I have finally found the answer.

The original Misfit Toys were all for boys (this was 1964!). With the fleeting scene during the first airing, my theory is that they needed a ‘girl toy,’ so the “Doll for Sue” was created.

In 2007, on NPR’s “Wait Wait, Don’t Tell Me,” Rudolph producer Arthur Rankin Jr., said that Dolly's problem was psychological, and was caused from being abandoned by her mistress (Sue?) and suffering depression from feeling unloved. Backing that up, when sold at CVS in 1998, her tag said ”I'm a little rag doll who just wants a friend. I think that will help my broken heart mend."

Many people accepted that answer, but putting 21st century psycho-babble into a stop-motion animatron created for a few seconds of air-time on a children’s television special from nearly fifty years ago just doesn’t make sense.

The reality: She was a last-minute add-on misfit toy so the young girls watching had a toy they could relate to.

What made her a misfit toy? It’s as plain as the nose (probably) on your face. More precisely, it’s the nose missing from her face.

Mystery solved.

Disagree? Let me know below…

New York really IS the toughest city in the world...

Not even jolly ol'Saint Nick is safe from a parking ticket (you know, the cops DO have a ticket quota in the city...).

Santa Claus has added a New York City traffic agent to his naughty list after she gave him a ticket while delivering gifts to children.

Chip Cafiero says he'll fight the $115 ticket he received in Brooklyn on Black Friday when he was dressed as Santa.

The 60-year-old retired schoolteacher was riding a horse-drawn carriage and handing out toys and candy canes. An SUV carrying the toys and protecting the horse from traffic was double parked next to him.

Santa says he yelled "Ho! Ho! Ho!" to get the traffic agent's attention because the SUV wasn't blocking traffic. But in his words, "This grinch just went ahead and fined me."

Local politician Martin Golden calls the parking ticket "ridiculous."

Police won't comment on it.

Will Smith in True Christmas Spirit

Will Smith showed once again showed his hometown Philadelphian brotherly love during a visit to Minneapolis Minnesota. On press junket premiering his latest film Seven Pounds, Will not only helped raise money for a hunger relief agency (Second Harvest Heartland), he also helped NFL football's Bernard Berrian of the Minnesota Vikings donate 300 holiday dinners.

This is not Will's first offering of kindness this Holiday season. While in Cleveland Ohio, Will donated 200 turkeys to the Cleveland Food Bank.

Again when he visited St. Louis Missouri, Will presented a check for 300 turkeys to families in need. Prior to that was Miami and another 300 turkeys.

Will has been quietly preaching a message. We all need to hear it. "If there's a message, it's 'you gotta help somebody.' Even if it's somebodies car breaking down, use your cell phone. Something little like that. We gotta help one another to get the quality of life we're all striving for."

Nice going Will! Merry Christmas!

Christmas

What is Christmas to you? Beyond the true meaning of Chirst purpose on earth, in the modern era people have learned it is about selfless giving.

Someone, or somebody has been leaving gifts outside Galilee Methodest Church in Sterling Virginia for a third year in a row.

They left a note: "Please take these presents and fill the hearts of children who have so much less than all of us." There was no signature.Who is this secret Santa? Does it matter?

These are hard times for many people. I know of one family that won't even have a Christmas tree this year. I hope the message of this story has meaning in your life. Merry Christmas.

A Letter From the United States to Code Name: Santa Claus

From: The United States Government - Department of the Interior
To: Code Name: Santa Claus
Re: In Regard to Yearly Unregistered Aviation Activity
Security Clearance: Classified

Mr. Claus:

The government of the United States realizes that December 25 is fast approaching. We would once again like to remind you of some of the regulations you may encounter.

First, the Association of Air Traffic Controllers once again requests that you file your flight plan. In the past your craft has come up unexpected on our radar and the radar of unsuspecting pilots. While the United States government is aware of your craft's ability to make sudden maneuvers, the greater aviation community has mistaken your vehicle for a Unidentified Flying Object in the past. In order to save the government countless hours of time of filling out paperwork, we request that you file a flight plan with the AATC prior to December 25.

In addition to filing a flight plan, we would once again like to take this opportunity to remind you that the air space over Washington, D.C. is restricted airspace. While we recognize that the nature of your work is to promote good will toward man through the giving of gifts, National Security takes precedent to such ventures. If you feel the need to deliver gifts to those in the first city, we suggest that you take the necessary measures to do so via ground shipment. The United States Postal Service will happily accommodate your needs. USPS does not except hazardous materials, firearms, liquids or explosives. Once again, if you are spotted over the restricted airspace over Washington, D.C., you will be shot down on sight.

Finally, we would like to address your takeoff and departure from site code name: North Pole. While the Cold War is over, NORAD and other first alert programs still remain in operation around the polar region. In the past, harmless objects have been mistaken for nuclear weapons and have almost caused nuclear escalation. For the sake of future generations, we once again request that you register you flight plan, so that there is no possibility that your craft is mistaken for a nuclear strike. The levity of this issue is unsurpassed.

Once again, thank you for your cooperation.

Sincerely,

David Holcolm
Department of the Interior

You See Him in the Shopping Mall, and then Across the Street

Attention Parents and Young Children (Who Can Read): Don't Let Believers See This!!!

My girlfriend and I were shopping this weekend. The holiday crowds at the mall were unbelievable. But I noticed something even more unbelievable about the whole experience. On the first floor in the center foyer sat the big man in red - Santa Clause - set on a fake velvet throne in front of a cardboard castle.

I stood in front of that Santa, and from that position I could see two more. One sat on another less impressive throne in the department store, and the other on a folding chair in a Ritz Camera no more than 20 feet away. Unless Santa was cloned, and each clone looks different, that's proof positive that the big man does not exist.

How is it that children believe when we make so many subtle attempts to break the truth to them. It's everywhere. Think about it.

There's a different Santa at every mall. There are Santas of different ethnicities, heights, weights - Santas are like fingerprints : no two are the same.

If Santa brings all the presents, then why is there such an emphasis on Christmas shopping? Ok, so the absolute gift-giver is a bit improbable, I guess that could account for the Christmas rush.

When I was a child and still believed, I could easily tell which presents were from Santa and which ones were from my parents. The simple distinction was that my parents wrapped the presents they gave me, and Santa's immaculate gifts were unwrapped. Fooled me, until I found out that Santa wrapped my friend's gifts. Why didn't he wrap mine?

Another giant whole in the Santa conspiracy is the chimney. What if you don't have a chimney? What if you live in an apartment complex? Does he come in through the heating ducts?

I don't even want to think about home security alarms. With the techno-savvy world of today Santa would probably be arrested for B&E within an hour of making his delieveries.

So those are the holes in the cover story. If you haven't noticed, we try to break the news to the kids. These subtle hints are meant to make breaking the news a little easier.

"I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Clause," would be "I Saw Daddy Murder Santa Clause" if the man in red were real. Daddy would be waiting next year for the big man after learning of his wife's infidelity from their child. But, oh wait - Santa is Dad dressed up. But why would Dad dress up as Santa? Unless....

Then there's my least favorite Christmas song "Santa Baby." Why would Santa give anything to such a "naughty" girl? The innuendo filled song is obviously a metaphor idealizing all the wrong elements of Christmas. Yet she get's presents.

If you do wanna see something cool be check out GoogleMaps on Christmas Eve. They have a Santa tracker that pin points the big man's position.

Tune in next time for "Why The Easter Bunny Wouldn't Make it Through the NRA Supporting South."

Yeah, Right... He Doesn't Want That!

While watching CBS I just saw a new CBS Cares infomercial telling women everywhere to give their men the perfect Christmas gift that you know is on the top of his list... a prostate exam.

CBS what are you thinking? Christmas is supposed to be a time of peace on earth and goodwill towards men - that's not either. A prostate exam certainly is something for men (you choose the adjective), but it's not goodwill.

So ladies, while it is important that your man get a regular check-up, do not - I repeat - DO NOT get him one for Christmas, unless you want a mammogram for Valentine's Day. And CBS, that commercial is worse than the creepy Burger King.
What were you thinking!? CBS may care about men's health but they certainly don't care about relationships.

12 Days of Christmas Up Again. Duh!

It's official. Christmas will be harder this year. When a guy can't afford the inflationary cost of giving Nine Ladies Dancing--Well that's just not Christmas!

The 2008 Chart, compiled by PNC since the early 1980's indicates really a modest increase in costs, up about $8,500.00 over last year. Things you would honestly not buy for you true love rose in price, for example Turtle Doves rose 37% in price, Partidges and Pear Trees both rose the same 33%. Meanwhile contemporary (if not practical) gifts such as golden rings have gone down in price a full 11%. Click on the chart above to gain a better view.

Other increases are the only unskilled laborers... Maids-a-Milking. Due to federal minimum wage requirements their increased from $5.85 to $6.85 per hour, a 27% increase.

All totalled, the increase from 2007's $78,100.00 to 2008's $86,609.00 is a significant 10% increase!

This was bound to happen sooner or later!

A man is selling his soul on ebay to earn extra cash for Christmas. His asking price? Only 1 million dollars! He claims the high bidder will win his spirit in a glass jar and he will "relinquish ownership" in a signed contract. Wow, this is more than just a little bit creepy. Is is just me, or does he even look a little....off? At the time no bids had been made, and ebay has since taken down his auction...phew!