Why So Classy?: For The Love of Ray J

And with this announcement, For the Love of Ray J has displaced Rock of Love Tour Bus as my guilty trash extravaganza! (God help the poor soul that had to clean out that tour bus...it must've smelled like Pike Street in there...)

SO ANYWAY, 22-year-old Monica Leon, who goes by the name Danger (that's the classy one with the tattoo on her face) on For the Love of Ray-j, has run off and told the National Enquirer that she's 3 months pregnant with Ray-J's baby. What's even more special is that Monica claims they made a baby on the set of that elegant show.

What a beautiful thing. The baby is going to grow up to find out it was conceived on rented sheets on a rented bed in a rented house...in front of the whole VH1 viewing audience. For the Love of Ray-J is the trashiest home movie ever.

Monica told the Enquirer, "There is no way the baby can be anyone's but Ray J's. I was locked in a mansion with him and 13 girls from October until the end of December. Toward the end of the first week of filming, we made love for the first time - and we slept together every night after that! I didn't want to fall for Ray J, but he was so charming it became impossible not to. I was in love with him, and as strange as it might sound, I think he loved me."

Made love?! MADE LOVE?! Honey, I hate to be the bearer of bad news (and not to sound like a Catholic school nun), but when a dude you've known for a week has unprotected sex with you (and 13 other women!), that's NOT love...that's GRADE A, UNABASHED STUPIDITY! If you didn't catch a baby, you would've caught a, *ahem* (in a Victorian voice) "social disease"!

But seriously, VH1 could find a way to turn this into a show. For the Love of a Child Support Check! Maury Povich would host, obviously. (Oh no...I just gave them an idea...)

Top 20 Trashy TV Shows

Entertainment Weekly recently released their list of the "22 Most Appaling TV Shows." We thought their list was lacking, so we compiled our own list of the Top 20 Trashy TV Shows.

20. Hurl! (G4, 2008) - Lets watch people get sick: mmm... vomit.

19. I Love Money (VH1, 2008) - People really will do anything to make a buck and prolong their 15 minutes.

18. Jail (My 9 Network, 2008) - Thought COPS was bad? This is what happens when those people get behind bars.

17. Child Nation (CBS, 2007) - Lets exploit children by having them form their own society! Apparently no one read Lord of the Flies.

16. Britney and Kevin: Chaotic (UPN, 2005) - It's Britney and K-Fed: what did you expect other than trailer park trashy TV?

15. The Anna Nicole Smith Show (E!, 2002) - She may not have been TrimSpa crazy, but came pretty close.

14. The Swan (Fox, 2004) - Basically a plastic surgery competition. Vanity peaks at its all time high.

13. Temptation Island (Fox 2001) - Should have been called "Let's Cheat."

12. Cheaters (Syndicated, 2000) - It's shocking to see who's unfaithful, especially when it may be someone you know.

11. Flavor Flav Dynasty of Shows (VH1, 2006) - How could anything starring a crack head wearing a viking helmet and his ghetto fabulous gal pal be good?

10. Shows about marrying millionare's (Fox) - I ain't saying she's a gold-digger...

9. Wife Swap (ABC, 2004)/Trading Spouses (Fox, 2004) - Words cannot describe the utter ridiculousness of this show.

8. Big Brother (CBS)/Real World (MTV) - They find the craziest people imaginable and put them under one roof - what did you think would happen? Whats more is that these stars and appear on subsequent spin-offs.

7. The Simple Life (Fox, 2003) - Why, oh why, did someone give those two a TV show? So not hot!

6. My Super Sweet 16 (MTV, 2005) - Reminding the whole world how America sucks at parenting.

5. Any Show on MTV - I can't tell you the last time this channel played a music video. Anyone?

4. The Littlest Groom (Fox, 2004) - Same this as The Bachelor... except with midgets.

3. The Bachelor (ABC, 2002) - What's not sleazy about a man dating 25 women at the same time?

2. COPS (Fox, 1989) - Lets exploit blundering felons! The grandfather of trashy television.

1. The Jerry Springer Show (Syndicated, 1991) - Lets get the most dysfunctional people ever a place them in a television studio to "talk" out their problems. Yeah right.