Everyone has it wrong. Everyone is condemning Elliot Spitzer, guv of New York, for being a hypocrite, a liar and an infidel. They say that everything he stood for has been violated by this single wanton act. (Actually, the only people that are saying it is his political opposition—everyone else is just listening).
They’ve got the wrong problem. His political career is in the tank but he will get over it. First of all, everyone in politics has been with a hooker, or is one, or both. So there is no real moral issue—at least no public one.
The real problem is that he paid $4300 for a few hours with a hooker. Jeez!. Forty three hundred dollars? That will screw up the economy even further. The rate of inflation will soar and hookers all over America have just got a huge raise. Let me speak in economic terms—when you get right down to it, a hooker is a commodity. The market sets the rates and the product, within normal bounds is about the same. Ok, there should be a diff between a streetwalker and a high priced call girl—but $4300?
The economic implications are enormous—Bernake will stop lowering interest rates and the Dow will plummet and everyone who needs a hooker for relaxation will no longer be able to afford one. Pretty soon, people will stop paying for hookers and there will be fewer on the market, creating an imbalance between supply and demand. Prices will soar as the market dries up. Pretty soon, no one will be on the streets and no one will be answering the phones.
That’s not all, the Guv really screwed up his personal situation—his wife will probably get over it—he will be in the Hole for a long while. But will his kids be the same? They will have to relearn the value of the dollar.
He cannot turn them down when they ask for an allowance of, say, $600 a week, or $350 for the movies and a burger afterwards. He will never be able to turn down any request as being too expensive or frivolous. He really screwed himself and the economy.
I wish that it hadn’t happened—that it’s all a bad dream, a mistake, that he paid only $43 for the hooker. Most of all, right now, I wish that I were one of the Guv’s kids.
by Glebe, a guy who knows
Author of: Points the relationship guide for people who don’t like relationship guides
