In a UK Sun article today Madonna managed to get my sympathy. Why? Let's just say divorce brings out the vulnerability in all of us. I myself am divorced. The experience had me come to terms with many aspects of life and mortality. I have friends now divorcing. They too are navigating a mine field of emotions. There is so much you learn and accept in this experience.
So as I read this article linked above I had pity for Madonna. I mean, in the past I've blasted her. Mostly because I was first in awe of her as a young man. She was a few years older than me in high-school but she was a product of my time. Stunning sexy, cunning and smart. She seemed the total package. Then I saw her Truth or Dare movie and realized her a fraud. That was rough. I mean she was an icon to me with her marketing expertise up to that point. Then I realized she was really just damn lucky for playing the sex card. She didn't have a master plan, it was all just "Look at me, Look at me!" The shock of her sex play was really all she had. She just knew one thing, up the ante each time. Eventually she took it as far as it could go. So if you watch Truth or Dare you can see her for the actual vacant bubblehead she is. I mean her no disrespect. Believe it, I never wanted to realize this truth about her.
Then she married. OK, no big deal. At least she married a rugged man, one with fire in his veins. For such a domineering woman, it would take a man like him to handle and accept her. I think I really understand their relationship as I feel I had walked a mile in those shoes.
So where am I heading? Well, Madonna for all her hype of being too tough for love and independent, she has inadvertently shown her softer side throughout the article in the U.K. Sun today. First hand information from family members delineates Madonna's true hope of having been in a real true love relationship. You know, the one we all dream of when we are in our teens. Where girls find their prince charming, and we men find our fairest of maidens worthy of our undying affection.
The moment you put that ring on your finger, you are in it. And you better had believed you found your true love for there is no going back. That is what you think when you marry. Then comes the cold stark reality of divorce. Ninety percent of divorces are initiated by women. Men are usually the ones left in the twilight of hope wondering, "What could have been different to made love good again?" Men are usually the ones thinking they were romantically done wrong. Mostly, men are usually the ones thinking "Did she ever really love me." Then I read this article.
Here in Madonna's case, through family I read, “Did you ever actually love me?” quoted by Madonna towards her husband Guy, I felt sympathetic, empathetic. The woman may have been a phony all these years in terms of actual brains, but at least she wanted to be in real love. I'll give her that. The article went on to nail down the truth. Sources were quoted:
“If you can pinpoint an exact event or incident which spelled the death knell for them as a couple, Madonna’s horse-riding accident was it. Every other row the couple had following that boiled down to what happened that summer.”
It turns out Madonna had fallen from a horse in 2005 and Guy didn't display the affection Madonna desired in the wake of the accident. It was a serious accident too. Not life threatening but serious. Madonna broke her collar bone, scapula, four ribs and left knuckle. She had spent some time in hospital and her husband Guy's bedside manner was more in keeping with her public image and not her private reality. The tough as nails businesswoman in stiletto boots was pure fiction here. Madonna wanted to be treated like a vulnerable wife to be protected by her man. Sun sources quote Guy had “abandoned her emotionally.” and that “She was so furious at what she saw as Guy’s lack of support and cruelty that she told him she was wrong to marry him as he couldn’t possibly be her soulmate.”
Again, I don't see much coming from Madonna's mouth that I feel she is all that intellectually keen, but she did make one comment that gave me reason to think she understands the value of love from an American man. The article quotes her reflecting, “Madonna’s convinced British men are light years behind Americans when it comes to emotional honesty and sophistication.” Now that I can agree with. Not that British men are backwards, but that American men are emotionally honest. I think British men bare a great deal of sophistication. I digress...
Madonna is going through it. And I have a funny feeling she is going to handle her divorce in an immature way. If I were a betting man, I'd bet heavy on this. Why? Like I said, I think I know her situation well. Just today Madonna chose to air her dirty laundry in public. On stage in Boston she announced her son Miles Away (inspired by Guy) was for the "emotionally retarded". Her exact words were: “This song is for the emotionally retarded. Maybe you know some people who fall into that category. I know I do.”Just days ago on October 6, 2008 Madonna announced, “In exactly 29 moves, the Queen will dump the King.”
If I really have Madonna pegged right. This will be a battle royal over the children. Mark my words.
For now, Madonna has a sympathetic heart. When marriages end, love doesn't die. It grows stronger. They say love and hate walk a thin line. No they don't. That hate you get directed at you is actually someone's inability to love. That is why people hurt each other. Personalities like Madonna's don't lack the desire to love, they simply lack the ability to love.
So while we wait for the fight to emerge. Take a moment to lament the lose of Madonna's childhood dream. A fairytale marriage. In respect to love, she is now one of us.
