"Wife. Four letters. One syllable. Simple, or so it seems. Yet this common word has become one of the most complex signifiers in the English language, weighted by past definitions, blurred by personal biases. The associations it elicits are bipolar in their scope: by the beginning of the twenty-first century, wife was variously presented as the source of female damnation or salvation, enchantment or disenchantment, captivity or rescue. Take your pick. Evidence can be marshaled to support either case. The truth exists in neither."
So begins Canadian journalist Anne Kingston's The Meaning of Wife, a compelling social study on the institution of marriage and gender roles. Armed with extensive research, Kingston lays out a history of marriage and the definition of "wife" over the centuries and a lot of the information is great food for thought. I didn't know what to expect before reading this book, but I was happy to find that Kingston is not anti-marriage or anti-wife, although she does take on the wedding industrial complex and the bride-as-consumer phenomenon with some ferocity. “If the modern wife is an enigma,” Kingston writes, “the modern bride is a no-brainer…Within the marketplace, her ephemeral status only ramps up her appeal: with a shelf life of less than a day, she’s ever fresh.” Society needs wives and ingraining the romanticism of weddings into little girls has been one way to ensure a steady stream to the altar. Of course, like in romantic movies, many don't bother to wonder what happens after the end credits or the "I dos," as the case may be (what happens, of course, is real life).
"There is no singular meaning of wife. That is the point. That is its meaning. To see the wife fully through a multi-faceted lens is one of the central challenges facing society in the twenty-first century. To do this, new scripts are required that employ wife as a verb and as a gender-neutral concept. These are essential if we are to create necessary new narratives, new ways of living as women and men together." - Anne Kingston (The Meaning of Wife)
There are interviews with wives and examinations of some famous ones and Kingston also provides an enlightening look into the financial worth of a wife, while also probing the new "neo-traditionalism" trend pioneered by women like the currently single Martha Stewart. In the end, as Kingston points out, society needs wives. Households need to be run, chores need to be completed whether by the female partner in a relationship or the man, a nanny, cleaning lady, etc. Who will fulfil these roles and how are questions that most modern couples face. It is impossible to ignore how feminism, shifting gender roles and the changes in the modern definition of "wife" have affected society. Despite the references and research I found this book to be an easy read and I think it would be valuable and thought provoking for women both young and old--and the men that love them.
